As promised, here is Lydia's speech that she gave at her grade 8 graduation in text form. 

 

I can do anything.  I have learned this truth this past year.  I have been on a hard journey of recovery.  I could have died, but God gave me a second chance to live, and life is a precious gift.  I am doing my best to live fully, to treasure the life that I have been given.   

I want to share the hope that I have.  I want to ignite a flicker of hope in others, reminding them that anything is possible.   

I spent 2 months in a deep coma, at Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto, where I could not talk, or walk, or even move on my own.  From July until October, I was at Holland Bloorview, a children’s rehab hospital.  In August, when I was at home visiting my family, on my dad’s birthday, I spoke my first sentences.  This past school year, I have spent at home with therapists, teachers and support workers, and I have relearned how to walk, balance, think and communicate.  I am recovering.

Our attitudes are very important.  They shape us.  They have a huge impact on life.  It is important to not face each day with a crummy attitude.  Instead, put on a smile, be thankful, and face each day with hope and strength.   

“Life is 10% what happens to us, and 90% of how we react to it.”  We can’t control everything that happens to us, but we can control our attitudes. Expect the unexpected - something totally out of the ordinary, and when that happens, you’ll be ready to embrace it, whatever “it” is.

Over the last year, I have gone through many mixed emotions.  There were times at night, when I felt like giving up, but God gave me hope.  In the morning, I awoke with a new perspective, renewed faith, and determination.  When hard times come your way, when the unexpected happens, do not lose hope or give up.  Have faith, a positive attitude and you’ll find strength for each step of your journey.  Thank you for encouraging me in mine.

One last note, before I sign off, possibly for the summer: Lydia and I will be guests on 100 Huntley Street on Wednesday July 10, in the morning.  We will be sharing about our experiences this past year: about a loving and faithful God who can hold us and care for us, in every situation, in every moment.
Until we blog again, remember Romans 12:12:  Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Grade 8 graduation

Many times, we find this journey to be bittersweet.  Sorrow and joy flow together.  More often, there is joy, delight and gratitude - a sweetness to savour.  The graduation ceremony for the grade 8 students at Baden Public School was a wonderful celebration on Friday evening.  Lydia was able to walk across the stage, and receive her diploma.  The audience spontaneously clapped and cheered as she did so, even though we were saving our applause for the end, due to the number of students graduating.  How beautiful to be cheered on by this community that has journeyed deeply with us.

Lydia gave a speech at her graduation ceremony, sharing some of the lessons she has learned this past year.  She wrote it herself, and practiced it a lot at home, and with her speech language pathologist.  The standing ovation she received tugged at our hearts.  I have been told by many, "there wasn't a dry eye in the audience".  It was powerful.  Here is a link to her speech.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xYAzcX43Z0
I will post her speech in printed form in a separate blog, for those who would rather read it.

In the car, after graduation, Lydia asked me, "Do you think I would have received an award if I had not been hit?"  Her mind had wandered the same path that ours had during the ceremony.  How might her grade 8 graduation have looked if this unasked for incident had not entered our lives last year?
We pray regularly to be kept in the present - to not dream a different future, or cling to the past, but to be thankful for each day, and praise the Lord for it.  In Lydia's grade 8 homeroom graduation book, she shared her favourite quote: Psalm 118:24  This is the day that the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it. 
He is faithful.  We entrust our hearts to Him, who gently holds us.
Over the summer, Lydia will have some time off, but will continue with therapy and school.  She is keen to keep pressing on: to regain, relearn, and in some cases, learn for the first time.  She wants to catch up to her peers.  While we have been told that she will have lifelong implications to her injuries, we have not shared this with Lydia.  She is determined, and she keeps working hard.

In September, Lydia will go to high school with a new member of her team, an educational rehab specialist.  She will attend some classes with her new teacher, as well as receiving individual instruction in other subject areas.    Therapy will continue, sometimes at the school, sometimes at the therapists clinics.  We are so thankful for the progress Lydia has made, that permit her to renter school already.  Our educational rehab specialist has told us that often she does not become a part of the treatment team until 2 or 3 years post injury, in cases where the severity of the brain injury was as traumatic as Lydia's.  We praise God for his healing work in Lydia.  Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
We also thank you for your continued prayers.  We are so touched to have people we don't know approach us and tell us they have been praying for Lydia.  Thank you.

May 17, 2013 has been a wonderful day of remembering and being thankful for all that we have been carried through in this past year.  Truly God has been gracious to us, and cared for us every step of the way.  Two favourite songs that we sing are Never Once (did we ever walk alone) by Matt Redman, and Not For A Moment (were we forsaken) by Meredith Andrews.  We are thankful that Lydia continues to recover and make progress.
Just this week, as I was vacuuming her school/therapy room, I was struck by how far she has come.  In the spot where her hospital bed used to be, there now stands an elliptical exercise machine.  Lydia is very keen to learn to run again, and the elliptical is helping her towards this goal.  She does "run", mostly forward, but sometimes sideways, and she has difficulty stopping.  With her balance difficulties, she moves awkwardly, but always full of joy and zeal.  A friend today, who saw her run, remarked that she looked like a frolicking calf!  How that blessed our hearts to remember the promise of this scripture in Malachi 4:2, that was given to us a week after her accident.  Even when she was motionless and unresponsive, we were encouraged that "this was not the valley of the shadow of death" (which we had wondered if it was), but that (Mal 4:2) "the sun of righteousness would rise with healing in its rays, and (Lydia) would go out and frolic, like well-fed calves"!  So we praise God for our frolicking calf!

This week, some great stories have been done in the paper, on our church website and on the news about Lydia's recovery.  We invite you to view them.
http://www.therecord.com/news/local/article/935332--lydia-herrle-recovering-and-optimistic-one-year-after-collision
 http://www.waterloomb.org/stories/sustained-and-strengthened
http://kitchener.ctvnews.ca/video?clipId=929482

And as always, we thank you for your continued prayers.  Whatever you face, we pray this blessing of
Romans 15:13 over you.  May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

spring greetings from the Herrles

With the beautiful spring weather we enjoyed today, winter has surely passed, and it is time to update you on the progress that Lydia is making.  We thank you for your continued prayers.
We have had a good winter.  We have enjoyed family time together.
Lydia continues to work hard, with a joyful spirit and keen determination.  She has moments where she gets discouraged, but they typically don't last very long.  She is more steady with her walking, and her balance is improving.  This summer will not see her return to soccer - not yet!  First, she needs to be able to balance on one foot, in order to kick the ball, and she needs to relearn how to run!  She also needs to regain much strength and endurance.  Her swimming has improved incredibly over the winter, ( it's been great therapy ) and she no longer needs a flotation belt to complete her laps in the pool.   
Lydia's schedule has remained steady through the winter, with continued treatments from her OT, her SLP, and her PT.  As well, she receives home instruction in math and language from two tutors, in addition to weekly visits from a music therapist.  She has not been able to return to school yet, but she is making gains in her cognitive function.

She is able to sustain her attention for about an hour, and does not need the same amount of sleep, as previously.  She still rests regularly, but now about 20 minutes of quiet is all she needs.  Her night time sleep is still regularly interrupted with wakeful periods, where her brain is working over time.  Every night, she prays for a full night's rest.  We invite you to join her, and us, in these prayers.  All of her abilities are hindered when she is tired.
In January, Lydia's Occupational Therapist taught her to make macrame bracelets, to help with her fine motor control.  This activity has been ongoing therapy for Lydia, and she is quite industrious.  She has taught her siblings and her cousins to make them as well.  She also enjoys the art work she does as part of her OT sessions.

We continue to know the mercy and strength that the Lord provides for us daily.  We have enjoyed some new songs this winter, to lead us in worship, and to usher us into the deeper peace that only the Lord can give.

Check out Meredith Andrew's Not For A Moment, and Over Me, or Kari Jobe's Come to Me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XD0cvWImVjA&feature=player_detailpage

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ig6rCWg2iNo&list=PLDB752AFAE88F63B7&feature=player_detailpage

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvzznNAcL24

Psalm 25:1,5

In you, Lord my God, I put my trust.
Guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Saviour, and my HOPE is in you all day long.

 May your hope rest firmly in Him each day.

This may be a lengthier blog entry, but it will be the last one for quite awhile -  possibly until spring, 2013.  Life for us on the farm, follows the seasons.  Winter is often a season of quiet, and rest, as we withdraw, and "hibernate" a bit.  Our lives have been racing at hyper-speed since summer, and while we are grateful for the miraculous progress that Lydia is making, we are looking to regain our sense of family life.  We have been so blessed to share this journey with you, and to feel upheld by your prayers, and your practical care for us.  Thank you for your generous hearts, for your many encouragements of us and Lydia, and your faith in our amazing God.
 
Rest assured, if something very noteworthy should occur, we will certainly share it with you.  But as we walk this journey, our lives are becoming more predictable, and it feels some days, like we have found our new stride of "normal" - normal life with a child with special needs.  We are thankful to be at a stage where Lydia is progressing, and daily routines are possible.  We are also mindful many times, that our journey could have been different, and we could be mourning our first Christmas as the Herrle4.  Thanks be to God that Lydia is with us, recovering, and that we are all together, at home, to celebrate Christmas.  May you gather with your family and friends, and be filled with wonder, that God's love for us caused Him to enter our world as a baby.  Emanual.  God with us.  What a gift to celebrate!  And may your new year, 2013, like ours, be filled with hope. 

In some ways, every day has moments that are noteworthy, to be grasped, and treasured, but we will hold them in our hearts, rather than share them in the blog.  We had the pleasure of attending a Steve Bell concert this past weekend.  Steve spoke about his Mom's health challenges .His words "to not look longingly to the past to find the beauty that was, because you will miss the beauty of this present moment", seemed especially poignant for us.  Our new life is demanding, and challenging, and is stretching us to see different beauties than we would have expected, or experienced, had out path not been altered.  But there are such moments of beauty as we trust God, and seek His plans and His pace for our lives.  We are grateful to God for His divine work of re-forming Lydia, and each of us.   

We had a team meeting last week, with Lydia's therapists, teachers and case managers, to discuss Lydia's progress in the past two months that she has been home, and to chart a path for the next several months.  Her home therapy and school schedule is working well, and will continue unchanged for months to come.  Lydia has an excellent team to care for her and guide her through her therapy and recovery.  We thank God for these professionals in our lives.

Continuing, significant rest is  important for Lydia, as her brain recovers and rewires.  She often has three or four rests during the day.  Lydia works so hard, every day, to get better.  Mostly, she is determined and strong, but some days, she is weak, and discouraged.  Your ongoing prayers for her recovery, and her peace amidst her limitations, would be appreciated.  We regularly remember the words of Liz Murray at WE Day in November to not "let what you can't do interfere with what you can do".  We focus on what Lydia can do now.

Many of her "when I am fourteen" goals that she set for herself in October, she has realized.  She is able to brush her hair and put it up.  (She wants to learn how to braid again.)  She is able to walk through the house unassisted, with the exception of up or down stairs, dress herself, go to the bathroom, and brush her teeth.  She calls when she needs us.  Lydia is able to do all of these activities independently, but they fatigue her, so often we assist her with them to conserve her energy for more important learning or therapy. 
 
A most fitting end to our regular blogging journey would be to worship our loving, faithful and great God for the things that He has done.  He has provided for us and sustained us -  often through you.  (Do you know that we still regularly receive meals each week?  What a practical and wonderful help to us.).  He has met us and cared for us,  as we have sought Him and hidden ourselves in Him.  We have known the peace that passes all understanding.  He has loved us tenderly and given us grace for each moment.  We praise Him for His healing.   We worship Him in every season of our lives.  He is here.  He is with us  always. Never once have we ever walked alone.  To Him be the glory in Christ Jesus.


 

We have had a good week.  Lydia had several days where she was happy and rested.  (We appreciate your prayers for restful sleep during the night, and would ask that they continue.)
Lydia enjoyed a short visit with another grade 8 class at Baden Public School, and she has one more class to visit with next week, and then she will have seen her former classmates and peers at school.  Lydia's list of people she would like to see, and places to visit far exceeds her capacity!  Inch by inch, we progress along.

On Saturday, the Herrle family participated in the St. Agatha Christmas parade. Lydia's cousins carried a banner that read "Thank you for praying for Lydia".  An uncle drove the golf cart that Lydia and some cousins sat on for most of the lengthy parade that winds through St. Agatha, and Lydia walked the home stretch.  Aunts and siblings helped us to share cookies with those gathered along the parade route.  There were moments of tears and cheers, as folks cheered for Lydia.

As we enter the Christmas season, we will attend some Christmas concerts, and family dinners, but this season will be quieter, and low key this year.  Lydia will keep working on playing Joy to the World on the piano, and to exercise her singing voice with Away in A Manger, and Silent Night.  Jesus will continue to shine as the brightest light in our lives, and we will quietly celebrate His gift to us, in entering our dark world 2000 years ago.  We will remember and be grateful for His deep and abundant love for us.  We have hidden ourselves in Him often, and found serenity and security in the shelter of His wings.  The future is uncertain, but His love is steadfast.  We rest in Him.
May you do the same, this Christmas.

http://vimeo.com/17866556

Come Thou Long Expected Jesus
Music by Rowland H. Pritchard / Lyric by Charles Wesley
Come Thou long expected Jesus
Born to set Thy people free
From our fears and sins release us
Let us find our rest in Thee
Israel’s strength and consolation
Hope of all the earth Thou art
Dear desire of every nation
Joy of every loving heart

Born Thy people to deliver
Born a child and yet a King
Born to reign in us forever
Now Thy gracious kingdom bring
By Thine own eternal Spirit
Rule in all our hearts alone
By Thine all sufficient merit
Raise us to Thy glorious throne

Last night, Lydia and some friends, along with our family, entered a "Thank you for praying for Lydia" float in the New Hamburg Christmas parade.  It was fun, festive and frantic!  Lydia began writing her memoir about it today, so I don't want to give any details away.  It had comical and heart warming moments for us all. 
This Saturday, we plan to participate in the St. Agatha Christmas parade.  Events like these, take a lot out of Lydia, so she has to rest for most of the day.
We are settlilng into our new normal - routines of therapy, rest and school for Lydia; and as a family, learning how our together time needs to be shaped in order to accommodate Lydia's special needs. 
We are grateful for the incredible prayer support we have received.  We would appreciate your continued prayers, specifically for rest for Lydia.  Some days, she is tired, but can't find sleep or the quiet space of rest.  Her brain is over processing, and analyzing; buzzing with thoughts, but not rest.  Like any of us, when we are over tired, she then struggles to do her therapy, to concentrate when it is required, and to feel well.  We pray for rest and renewal.

Lydia had her first classroom visit at Baden Public School on Thursday.  She was able to spend the last block of the day with her home room, 8B.  She was so excited to go!  She wore her cheerleading hair ribbon in her hair, and jumped for joy in the office upon arrival!  (Her jump is supported, and doesn't entail feet leaving the floor, just legs bending and straightening rapidly.)  She received her planner, and a class photo was taken.  Lydia loves school, and longs to return, but unfortunately, she is far from being able to return for regular classroom instruction. 
She was surprised and delighted to receive the Student of the Month award for her class.   The attribute of the month for November is Hope.   The students in her homeroom class voted her to be the classmate who best embodies the attribute of HOPE.  How beautiful is that?  Her award is proudly hung on our fridge.
In Lydia's music therapy this week, her teacher brought a recorder for her to try.  She figured the recorder was a good stepping stone to the flute, an instrument Lydia began to play in grade 7, and hopes to return to.  We would have never thought that Mary Had a Little Lamb on the recorder, could bring tears to our eyes, but it did, as she played it proudly for us on Saturday morning.  She called Grandparents on Saturday to play the tune for them too.  She has taken her recorder with her, or had it close at hand, to play for all therapists and teachers who come to see Lydia.

On Saturday, we were excited to have the writer personally deliver to our home, several copies of Most Magazine.  Remember the aestheticians and the photo shoot, earlier this month?  They were for this special feature in Most Magazine.  The photography, the story, and how beautifully they are shared, moved us greatly.  Thank you to the team, whose artistic talents collaborated wonderfully.  For those who do not receive Most Magazine, you can view it online at http://www.mostwaterlooregion.com.  Just click on the current issue tab on the far left.  Our story begins on page 24.

We battled with discouragement at times over this past week, as Lydia would ask, "Why is it so hard for me to eat?  ... to brush my teeth? ... to do my hair?"  She is aware of her limitations and frustrated by them.  We encourage Lydia (and ourselves too) by talking about things that she wasn't able to do before, but can now.  We try to get perspective by considering that she has only completed 25%  of her recovery. (This is based on  the 2 year projected recovery time frame for a brain injury patient.  The most significant gains are made within this time frame.  However recovery continues for years. )  
Perspective also returns when we give thanks to the One who gives us all, and when we turn our hearts to Him, trusting in His ways, His timing, and His provision for us all. 
Phil 1:6 ... being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you, will be faithful to carry it on to completion until the day of our Lord.

The opening line of a song that often steadies me, is God I look to You, I won't be overwhelmed.  Give me vision to see things like You do.  Amen 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=CR5IoWH9OiI
God I Look to You by Brian Johnson, sung by Jenn Johnson, from the album "Be lifted High"

God I look to You
I won't be overwhelmed
Give me vision to see things like You do
God I look to You
You're where my help comes from
Give me wisdom, You know just what to do

I will love You Lord my strength
I will love you Lord my shield
I will love You Lord my rock
Forever all my days, I will love you God

Hallelujah our God reigns
Hallelujah our God reigns
Hallelujah our God reigns
Forever all my days Hallelujah

Blogging less frequently

We have had a good weekend.  I am feeling better; not quite 100%, but much improved.  Lydia rested well, and is ready for another full week of therapy and school and rest.   She works so hard.  She has always been very disciplined, and we see that trait in her again, as she gives herself fully to her tasks each day.  She is now regularly tieing her shoes by herself!
Today, she went to the University of Waterloo School of Optometry for a complete eye exam.  She has suffered some impairments to her vision.  She will need reading glasses, and she requires some visual therapy to help with muscular control.  We are hopeful these difficulties can be overcome.

On Sunday, at our home church, Waterloo Mennonite Brethren, we shared our stories of how God has been caring for us, and the power of prayer.  James and I spoke during our worship services. Lydia shared via video.  The video, entitled Warrior Butterfly, beautifully captures Lydia, speaking about her journey with Jesus.  It is a short but powerful clip.  http://www.waterloomb.org/stories/warrior-butterfly

For a few weeks now, we have pondered for how long, and how regularly, we should continue to update you on Lydia's progress.  The blog has been an efficient way to share our journey with the many who pray for us, and who care about Lydia's recovery.  We are ever so grateful for your prayers and support.  It has been overwhelming.   
Often, the blog has been cathartic to write - a sort of "on line journal".  Just as often, it has felt divinely inspired.  We have heard countless stories of how God has used the blog to draw people to Himself, and to encourage them in their faith.  To Him be the glory in all things.  We have trusted Him for his guidance, and He has been so faithful.  We will continue to trust His leading with the blog.  We are certain that He will help us to know when it is time to stop.  For now, we plan to update you weekly. 
We are thankful, that 6 months after the accident, Lydia is doing as well as she is.  She still has a lot of recovering, relearning, and resting to do.  We wait, we hope, and we pray for her full recovery. 
We celebrate the gifts that God has graciously given to our family.  We have been forever changed by these intimate faith experiences. 
Romans 15:13  May the God of hope, fill you with all joy and peace, as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of theHoly Spirit.
Talk to you next Monday!
 

Lydia is still feeling the effects of Wednesday's excitement at WeDay.  She is tired and needing to rest more.  It seems to be that in the days following a big event, she is particularly tired.  While she is progressing in her capacity, it is still very small, compared to what it once was.
When we look at a calendar, we can't believe that tomorrow, November 17, marks the 6 month mark in this journey.  Where has the time gone?  Half a year!  We are grateful for the provision, love and support we have received, over the past half year, and we know that it will continue, in different ways.  God has met us powerfully, and we have known the peace that passes understanding.  Our hearts are forever changed, forever drawn deeper into the intimacies of walking by faith.  But, the journey is long, and the journey is hard.  Yes, there is peace, and there is joy, and beauty, and hope; but it is still a difficult path to walk.
I have continued to suffer from a sore throat and cold this past week.  I need to take a break from many things - blogging is one that I have chosen to rest from for a few days. So, may you have a good, and restful weekend too.

Lydia had a very full day today.  This morning, she went to Baden Public School to meet with her new principal, and vice principal.  She let out a whoop of delight, as we rounded the bend in Livingston Blvd, and she could see the school.  How she longs to return to school!  She received a welcome back card, signed by many grade eight students, which she enjoyed reading today.
Later today, she had an appointment with the Wheel chair seating clinic at KidsAbility to finalize the details for ordering her own wheel chair.  We are currently renting one, and while she is making great strides in walking, (pun intended!), she will need a chair of her own for distance mobility for some time yet.  She was measured up and sized for a chair that will be made specifically for her.
Lydia understands the need for the wheel chair, but, she struggles with it.  She does not want to appear different.  She sometimes asks that we not park in the reserved handicap parking spaces.   She does not want to be pitied.  She asked that we not take her chair to WeDay, yesterday, but realized the need for it, as the short walk to our car, with a sore knee, was painful.  Once in the car, she asked that her chair be taken along to WeDay.  One day a while ago, she uttered a heartbreaking statement:  "I guess I'll have to get new friends - ones with disabilities like me."
We deduce from these reactions, that Lydia views people with disabilities as segregated, different, not normal.  Does this perception stem from some of her experiences, or from her notions about individuals with disabilities from before?
Since Lydia's entrance into the world of the differently abled, our perception has changed too.  We have seen such a vibrant faith in Lydia, and a beautiful tenderness and sensitivity.  She walks more intimately with Jesus now than before.
James 2:5 speaks to us:  Listen, my dear brothers and sisters:  Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world, to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him?
So maybe our able bodied culture views those with disabilities as poor, in the eyes of the world.  But we have seen richness that is great.  We have a friend with CP, and he knows what it is like to live with disabilities, and yet, he has a heart and spirit that are incredibly connected to God.
Lord, may we know your love, and hold your view of all your children - abled and differently abled.

Today, Lydia and I were able to attend the last hour of WEday at the Auditorium!  What an inspiring experience that was!  We heard Liz Murray share her incredible story.  She was homeless, and yet was able to graduate from Harvard.  Although orphaned, she was surrounded by a community who supported her, cared for her, and helped her.  It caused me to think about how we have been surrounded, supported, cared for, and helped.  Thank you.
She encouraged us to be grateful for what we have, because everything we have, we could easily not have.  Yes!  This statement rang so true.  Lord, thank you for our children, our health, our families, our friends, our homes, our schools, our community, this country we live in.   Thank you for all that you give to us to enjoy.  Every good and perfect gift comes from you.
She challenged us to not let what we can't do, interfere with what we can do!  This pierced my heart for Lydia.  I was thankful that this spirit of resilience is in Lydia; that she doesn't let a trembling right hand keep her from eating with it, or printing shaky letters and words.
In the WEday finale, Marc and Craig Kielburger, spoke about the Three Laws of Social Change.  As they talked about law #1, The Power of the Few, they mentioned Lydia.  They spoke about what an inspiration she is to so many people, and how she illustrates that one person can impact many.  Lydia smiled at this.  She wants to be the change in her community - pointing people to Jesus, and His love.
At the end, she was on her feet, trying to jump in time to the music and clap her hands over her head, along with the auditorium full of energized youth.  She didn't want the ear phones I had brought to help her cope with all of the noise.  She assured me, "It's ok, I've been to WEday before, I know how crazy it can get!"  Then she smiled and tried to jump again.

 Tonight we were enjoying a delicious dinner made by a dear friend, whose husband is a prolific hunter.  It was a stew of meat, potatoes and vegetables.  As we were eating, I mused out loud as to what kind of meat was in the stew.  I suspected it was venison but couldn't be sure. Without missing a beat, Lydia piped up, "once it's in the pot, it's all beef."  This is quote from one of her favourite books, The Hunger Games, in which the heroine supplies all manner of game to the local soup maker who feeds the starving townsfolk. Lydia's quick response surprised us all.  Her eyes glittered with glee as we praised her quick mind.   We view it as another sign that her mind is healing and new pathways are being formed.  She continues to work hard to reach her goals.  Her day was filled with therapy and rest, lunch and rest, tutoring then rest.  Sleep well.

We love it when Lydia is joyful, bright, and light hearted, and we were happy to see her return to this demeanor yesterday and today.  She recovered from her cold, and was feeling much better.  True to her sensitive nature, she apologized for insisting that she might not wake up.
On Sunday, she was able to visit with close friends over lunch, and when she came home, she reported to me, "I even ate with my right hand".  We regularly encourage her to eat with her right hand, or do any task she would have done previously, with her right hand.  This is hard work.  Her right hand shakes, and eating can become very messy and frustrating.  No teenager wants food to be flying across the table, especially if you are the guest!  Actually, some teens (I'm thinking of Sam in a couple of years!) might think it fun, but not Lydia!  She is very sensitive to appearing or acting different.  She chose to have lunch the "right way" or the therapeutic way, although that is the hard way.  We congratulated her on this decision and her success.  She knows that practice makes perfect.  Is it any wonder we are inspired by her drive to improve?
Today, Lydia was telling everyone she saw or talked to, so she would want us to tell you, that she can stand up on her own, and walk by herself.   She no longer needs to have arms on a chair to push herself up, or have someone help to lift her up.   She is steady and strong enough to do it on her own.  In our home, she is able to walk around unassisted.  We are usually within arm's reach of her, in case she loses her balance, but we are not right at her side, or supporting her all the time, like we used to be.  When she is tired, she needs help, and when she is exhausted, she is not too old to still enjoy piggy back rides up the stairs!

This evening, Ben was singing a song with lyrics "we could be starving, we could be homeless, we could be broke".   Lydia heard this line, and asserted - "it wouldn't matter if you knew Jesus.  He'd be with you all the time."  Her faith is inspiring.

Lydia awoke this morning, feeling somewhat better, stronger and most notably, hopeful again.  She apologized a few times to us for disagreeing with us yesterday, and asserting that she didn't believe that she was getting better.  (Remember yesterday she thought she might not recover from her cold!)
In general, Lydia is very sensitive to anything she has said or done, that may have hurt another person or been inaccurate.  She has a heightened sense of right and wrong, and wants to set all things right -especially when she perceives there have been hurts.  She repeatedly wants to apologize, sometimes for seemingly insignificant things.    She does apologize, but then she forgets that she has, and somedays, it is difficult helping her to remember that she has apologized, and to release the matter entirely.  She fixates on these things.
Fixation is common with a brain injury.  It happens.  For awhile, she was fixated on food, constantly hungry and wondering what there was to eat.  This food fixation may have coincided along with a growth spurt, because she did eat a lot, but it has disappeared.  She eats regular meals now, and is not complaining of hunger all the time.

Green Ribbons

We have learned that for some, it is not the right time to take down their green ribbons.  That is fine with us!  We still have ours up at home, most notably on the tree in the yard where we took the photo of Lydia this fall.  We extend to each of you the full freedom to choose when you want to take your ribbons down.  There is still much prayer needed, so let us continue on together (with or without green ribbons) in Romans 12:12  Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Below are two different emails we received about this matter.  To both individuals, and the many who carry our family in prayer, we thank you for your petitions and prayers.

I have not taken down our green ribbons yet. I go to do it and then I can't. Today I was wondering with God, "where does this green ribbon belong?" No longer does the sight of it bring me to my knees with petitioning tears,  however the days of petitioning are not yet over....the days of asking for God to carry you and sustain you remain. And so they'll stay up a little longer....

I don't want to take my green ribbon down yet. I feel it is a symbol of hope and prayer. I don't want people to forget what happened and to continue to pray for Lydia and your family. It is like the poppy. Let us not forget, ...

Everyone in our household is feeling under the weather, and at various stages of a cold.  For the boys, it is nearly over.  For the rest of us, it is just beginning with sniffles, aching bodies and scratchy, sore throats.  This is the first time that Lydia has been sick since her accident.  We all know how lousy it feels.  For Lydia, who can fixate on things, it feels insurmountable!  In her bed, body aching, she moaned: "I may not recover from this cold.  I don't know if I'll get up tomorrow!"  We laughed and encouraged her that after all that she has lived through, surely a cold is not going to keep her down!  We had to help her see that in a couple of days, she would be feeling better again.
(Perhaps this is some of the reason for her difficult last few days, and her higher emotional needs.)

In this blog, the last word goes to Lydia.  She requested several times today that I say, on her behalf:
"Thank you everyone for praying for me.  I really appreciate it.  (pause) And no offense intended, but green isn't my favourite colour any more!"  It's all about turquoise now. Such is life with a teenager !

We have had an exciting day!  (Of course, with excitement, comes stress, something that is difficult for Lydia to process.)  A hair stylist and an esthetician from a local Salon came to our home today to do our hair and makeup, and a photographer arrived soon after, to take photos for an upcoming magazine  publication.   Exciting!   Unfortunately, these are all the details that I can share at this time.
Lydia has had a hard time handling emotions today.  She did very well during the time that stylists, editors, writers and photographers were here, thankfully.  In the morning, and afterwards, her mind kept racing, and sleep evaded her, even though she was exhausted.  (We think that she is still recovering from yesterday in Toronto.)  Tonight she required a lot of care to settle and fall asleep.  She wants me to be with her all the time, and I can't be.  I need to tend to the boys needs, have time with  James, and for myself too.  To say that this leg of the journey has hard moments for us all,  feels like an understatement tonight.  The weightiness of the last thirty hours have been keenly felt.
So I lean into Jesus.  In a day where I have struggle to give sacrificially, to love deeply, I cling to Jesus. I am holding on to Him.  He is already all I need.

Today we returned to Sick Kids Hospital for another follow up appointment - this one for a blood clot that had been discovered in Lydia's right arm in late May. An ultrasound completed today showed that the clot is still there, albeit slightly smaller, but since it is in a superficial vein, and it has not caused any alarming symptoms, and it has not grown, there is no concern or need to return to the Thrombosis clinic.  We check off another medical issue from Lydia's list!
Prior to Lydia's afternoon appointments, as a family, we went up the CN tower. In May and June, when we stayed at Ronald McDonald House, we regularly enjoyed the beautiful view from our room, of the CN tower.  We had a clear view of the entire tower that was framed by trees, and many nights, we would watch the lights on the tower before going to bed.  During these times, we dreamed of being able to go up the tower as a family. We thought it would be years before we could experience this together, but, by the grace of God, we were wrong. We enjoyed our time there together today. The boys loved the glass floor, and the speed at which the elevators zipped up the tower. They were even ready to do the sky walk! Perhaps another day. It was a quiet day at the tower, so it was perfect for Lydia.
At Sick Kids, we connected with Ryan, Lydia's Physio Therapist.  When I introduced her to him (because she has no memory of anyone at SickKids), she said "Hello Ryan, it is nice to meet you."  He responded by saying, "Hello Lydia, it is nice to hear your voice!"  He had never heard her speak before!  He treated her for 5 weeks, taking her to the gym, casting her feet, and doing exercises with her, but during this comatose time, she was silent, unable to speak.
This brings perspective at the end of a long day; a day where, towards evening,  Lydia was having trouble coping.  The noise, the smells, the lights of the big city were overwhelming to her.  She wanted to never, ever, have to return to Toronto again! While nearing home she stuck her hands and nose out the the window and declared that she had finally found air fit to breathe! She was happy to return to the comfort of home.  Lydia has come so far.  She has recovered incredibly from the  comatose patient that lay in Sick Kids for eight weeks.  Yes, we see too, today, how far she still must come, but we look back with gratitude on her journey of recovery so far.
Philippians 1:6  ... that He who began a good work in you will be faithful to carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. 
We trust Him for the full measure of his divine work in our precious Lydie bug.

We have had a good day.  Lydia is learning how to rest well.  It is still sometimes a struggle to turn off her mind, but she is doing better at resting quietly at times throughout the day.  She is also learning how to use her new therapeutic device - an IPAD!  In therapy terms, it is called an ADL, an assistive learning device.  She is playing different games to work on her fine motor and cognition skills.  The boys want to improve their skills too!

Recently, when James was playing his guitar, we sang together a song that we sang several times to Lydia in ICU, but had not sung together since that time. It is a song that was sung at our wedding, and expresses marital commitment. When we sang it in ICU, we were expressing to Lydia our steadfast love for her through whatever lay ahead.
Our hearts were full, as we sang it to Lydia the other night - choking on words we had not been able to sing in ICU, and finding new meaning in the lyrics as we sang.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PlxQbYPawT8&feature=player_detailpage

I Will Be Here - Stephen Curtis Chapman

Tomorrow mornin' if you wake up
And the sun does not appear
I...I will be here

If in the dark we lose sight of love
Hold my hand and have no fear
'Cause I...I will be here

I will be here...
When you feel like bein' quiet
When you need to speak your mind
I will listen
And I will be here
When the laughter turns to cryin'
Through the winnin' and losin' and tryin'
We'll be together
'Cause I will be here

Tomorrow mornin' if you wake up
And the future is unclear
I...I'll be here

Just as sure as seasons are made for change
Our lifetimes are made for these years
I...I will be here

I will be here....
You can cry on my shoulder
When the mirror tells us we're older
I will hold you

And I will be here
To watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you mean to me
I will be here

I will be true
To the promise I have made
To you and to the
One who gave you to me

I...I will be here

And just as sure as seasons are made for change
Our lifetimes are made for these years
'Cause I...
I will be here....
We'll be together

'Cause I will be here

We regularly hear from Lydia how thankful she is to be at home.  Generally, she is thankful for where we live, our home, our family; and then sometimes she gets specific: " I am so thankful for my bed!  I love my bedroom!"    Whenever she remembers her last weeks at Holland Bloorview, she cries.  We are begining to learn about some of her confusion and fear, when she was there, that she would never be able to come home, that she did not know where she was, or how to get home, even if she could.  This pulls at our hearts.  It is confusion and desperation we cannot begin to imagine.  We are thankful that we brought her home when we did, and thankful she can recover at home.

The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned. 
Maya Angelou